My life has been a heck of a ride for the past few months but I learned new things and develop feelings for God that I never knew existed. What I mean by that is I was always skeptical of the future and what kind of rezeki I'm going to have. Yeah, I know we can't feel that way but hey, we all have different problems so don't judge. My mom keep telling me to feel assured (read: YAKIN) on the things that Allah will give me in the future, I just have to work hard and keep praying for the best. I pray and doa but the feeling of yakin is not there. I remember thinking and feeling Yakin with what exactly? My worry at that time was internship. I was not confident about the internship placement in the companies that I applied because I felt as though I'm not up to their standards :(
So one day after I prayed Zuhur, I cried so hard until my eyes were sore asking Allah to forgive my sins and just talking to Him about my worries. I remember saying "Ya Allah aku yakin kau akan berikan tempat intern yang terbaik buat diriku." and I didn't just say it, I FELT it as well. I was like, I applied for the companies that I see fit and now it's time to let go.
That same day after I cried I had to get ready for my class. As I was doing my makeup, I got a call. It was one of the company that I applied for! They wanted to know if I'm free for an interview and of course I said yes. The next day, I got another call from 2 companies in the same day and I actually messed up the pre-interview for one of them so that's that hahaha
In total for that week, I got 3 calls but only passed 2. That means I have 2 face-to-face interviews on the same week. Alhamdulillah, I got accepted in one of the companies and I already signed the contract. The following week after, I got an email from another company which I had to decline. Can you see how many companies approached me while I trust and feel assured in Allah? And I'm not saying 4 companies will approach you too but it just feels like a miracle after I put my trust in Him and just let go. ❤😠My heart feels whole and I'm just so grateful for the feeling that He gave to me and it just feels so good that it's hard to put it in words.
What I'm trying to say is, we need to work for it and let go. We can't feel any doubt towards Allah because He knows what's best for us. To my friends (or anyone that's reading this) that are still looking for an internship, or anything that you're seeking for, I pray the best for you. Remember, work hard + doa + trust in Him + let go. Goodluck! :)
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A little rant:
Btw, this short semester is my last sem in UNITEN Muadzam Shah and I feel really excited about leaving this place but at the same time kind of nervous because I'm going to start my internship on 6 May 2019. Yup, you got that right. The first day of Ramadhan is my first day of internship. Hoping it brings me more barakah along the way during my internship I mean haha
I'm mostly nervous about making new friends since I always mingle with the same group of friends here in my uni so to start all over again with the "hi what's your name" is nerve wrecking. My anxiety is seriously kicking in as I type this hahaha but I hope it's going to be just fine.
