I can't stop thinking negative thoughts or "get over it."
It's not that easy. Well, it's easy for you to say because you're not the one having this thoughts.
If it were simple as a flick of a finger, I would get over it. Whatever "it" is. But it's not.
Many people told me to start thinking positive thoughts and be confident in whatever I do. But do they even stop to think that all I need is a willing ear to hear my story?
It may be a stupid A-
It may be a stupid embarrassing moment
It may be how I think people hate me
It may be how regretted I felt about something
It may even be how sad the movie from last night was
It may be how I felt useless
It may be something from my past that I don't want to go back again
It may be the me now that I came to hate
It may be how stressful studying is
It may even be how sick I am right now
All the stupid little things that you guys think are not important, they are important to me.
Every time I'm telling someone my story, I will cry. Yeah, I can tell from their eyes that they were bored of seeing my tears.
The thing is, I can't talk for more than 2 minutes. Sometimes, I'll stop suddenly because I am so afraid what people would think of me. "Ugh she talks way too much!" and just leave my story unfinished.
Sometimes, I feel like talking for hours.. Just to hear them say,"yeah, we heard that one before."
Sometimes, I make myself invisible. Not talking.
But one day, I want someone to look at me and tell me, "Why did you stop? Tell me more. I love it when you tell me all this stupid things." Hahaha well, I can just dream on huh?
p/s: How I wish I can post more about happy stuff than these depressed and sad posts. I hope that day will come.